R – Resilient
S – smile
E – Excellent
Many times we wait until a friend has died to tell the world what a wonderful person they were, and I’m just as guilty as the next person about that. Today my intention is not to do that, i write this with great sadness and grief. As i celebrate my friend the same way i did when she was with me, i hope you find the courage to celebrate your loved ones while they can still hear you. My Pastor always says,”Celebrate the living”, i couldn’t agree more, buy those flowers, send that card , give that complement, give many hugs , take that trip you have been postponing for years, take a moment to stop , and listen, sit and do nothing, play, live laugh, love.
This beautiful woman, inside and out, was a wonderful friend to me, supporting me with her gentle and caring nature. One of her beliefs in life was the importance of being authentic with people, saying what needs to be said because it’s good for the relationship and for the soul. Unfinished business causes pain and having peace is essential for a healthy and joyful life. Also, I always admired how she never judged or forced her opinions on anyone, but offered valuable and truthful advice while smiling ; that I will surely miss. You know those friends with whom you have some sorta coded language that only the two of you can understand, that was my Rose. We had a connection. We met at a hangout with a buddy and she immediately said” you are naughty……i want to get to know you better” that was it. we never looked back, later we worked together in the same office. She believed in me and pushed me to apply for study opportunities, find jobs, she paid my rent for a while when i couldn’t afford to, she randomly visited me with lots of shopping, she let me steal her lipstick and make up, let me drive her cars, she let me be me and never complained i was being too much. I miss you Rose!
Now the hardest part was not losing her, the hardest part has been and still is walking into that office and she isn’t there, picking up the phone to call and i know she wont pick up, passing by her former apartment and suddenly realizing she wont come to the door. The hardest part has been re-reading her emails, seeing all those whats app messages we shared, seeing pictures with so many memories. The hardest part has been sitting in her chair, trying to say bye, i still cant get myself to. my mind has been on replay over the laughter we had , the dreams ( our vision board), the nights we spent just talking about all sorts of silly stuff, i, shopping from your closet, stressing you about new hairstyles to do and how we would lose weight and be super models. The memories are immense, our last conversation at the hospital, how we prayed together and laughed about the nurse that was asking us to tone it down,how i was coming to read to you a funny book i had just discovered the day u left us. I generally don’t know how to deal with loss, my Rose i don’t know how to deal with losing u.
The celebration to bid her fare well passed in a daze. I am now only recollecting and trying to pull myself together. Rose was meticulously neat and organised. she was classy and elegant always. I am glad that all these things were present even in death. I am also glad that i got to share a few moments with her in her last days, and that they were beautiful moments. I am grateful that i got the opportunity to share life with you, to love you and be there for you.
I have one quarrel though, and its to the people we leave behind when we die. And please bear with me, these may be non issues to you but they really push me up the wall. Do not write “RIP” ever on anything when i die. At least have the decency to write the words in full! “RIP”…………what in hell is that? of….. people can’t spare a few minutes to write a proper tribute for someone they shared life with, they go around throwing “RIP” everywhere. shame upon you lazy people! Secondly, who said wreaths should be ugly and boring? why cant they be beautiful bouquets , after all we are celebrating life , no? why should we import cute flowers for weddings and christenings and other celebrations only to settle for boring, white , shabbily done round wreaths with fake ribbons, handwritten on with permanent makers “RIP” These flower companies, did they all go to the same school, study the same thing, can’t they think outside the box? I guess i’m a weird person but a beg, when i die, whichever flower company you choose to work with, ask them for their best flowers, the kind you would give me if i were still alive!
If there is anything I learned from the passing of my friend, it is that time is truly precious, and its important to be grateful and not take for granted every precious minute granted to me. We never know when the last time will be to see someone. I have learned to make more time for the people I care about, even if it’s five minutes. Whether it be a text or phone call, I make the time now. To each person you care about and love — make sure they know. Hug your loved ones a little tighter. Enjoy your time with them and make as many memories as you can. Take tons of pictures, send cards and letters, and take mini road trips together. Accomplish all you can and chase your dreams. Fulfill your life with all of the things that make you happy as best you can.