Two people that I care about deeper than the dictionary can dare define are beyond convinced that I am going to marry someone from Ntinda. I will not delve into the when, why, where and how this started but I know it cracks me up every time they insistently remind me that my boo is somewhere in the Ntinda trading center waiting for me, I guess.
One of these random Covid-19 days, I am taking my usual morning jog and I meet this person. I like to mind my business especially when I want to work out because distractions keep me from achieving my goal and that is really uncool. So Mr. Person is busy stretching and when he sees me, he decides to join me as I slowly manage my pace. He keeps mumbling words but my earpods don’t let him prosper because I keep increasing the sound of what l am listening to. First of all, who is this Mr.? Secondly why is he following me around? Also, who invited him for small talk?
I guess when he realised that I wasn’t responding to whatever he was saying, he tapped my shoulder. I asked him if he was okay and he goes “Ma’am, if you keep up this pace, I will die.” I go, “Excuse me?” As this happens, I am thinking to myself, “Who invited you to this party? Why the hell are you even talking to me? Can’t you see I am trying to get my steps in?” But before I could finish all these thoughts I looked at his face and just went, “Damn! He faaayyyyyynnnnnnnn!”
Please note that there are countable people my mind pauses to acknowledge so I really stopped to be sure these weren’t mind games and for real, this dude had a good head over his shoulders, beautiful set of teeth and nicely laid out lips. I am now already building picket fences in my mind, seeing us together with kids, filing our nails on a Sunday afternoon after a nicely cooked meal by yours truly… While I am standing there day-dreaming, he goes, “Do you run everyday because this is my route and I haven’t seen anyone this gorgeous along this path.”
I burst out laughing and not that laughter while blushing of ‘please staapp’ but the ‘bitch please!’ kind – the one I usually do with my bestfriend. I have heard that line time and time again and it’s always the same reaction – an evil laughter screaming “get a life, please!” I excuse myself and I go on with the jogging. He is so chatty so in my mind I am finding reasons not to encourage him to bring out the evil side of this gorgeous beauty. We get to the Lugogo bypass then go all the way up to Bukoto, then back to Ntinda and I am a few minutes from my home. He asks for my number (typical) and I jokingly say my mother said not to talk to strangers. We laugh about it and just before I turn towards my place, I ask him to give me his number instead knowing full-well I will never use it.
Mr. Person is very sure he wants to get to know me so he insists I give him my number. I know he is cute and all but I have my reservations. So let me tell you about this thing called intuition; mine is never wrong and the more I have learned to listen to and obey it, the more accurate and life-saving it has been to me. I give him my office number and head on home. I didn’t bother saving his.
Hours later, I find missed call upon missed call. Same number, a gazillion times. But I am having an important conversation with some people and therefore, cannot return the calls. The phone rings again and I text “Sorry, can’t talk right now, please text.” “Guess what? It’s me!” said the Person.
He adds, “What could be more important than talking to me?” I’m thinking, “What?” He says, “Are you with him?” I ask myself, “Him who?” He then says that I should have told him I was seeing someone instead of making him jealous. He goes on and on until I decided that I had had enough and it was time to block this person. I don’t have time for drama, certainly not in this season. And like a wind, the fantasy of this person passed and he became history – a story left only to be told.
Why are people like this? Don’t shutter our picket fences with foolishness so fast! Life doesn’t revolve around just you. Grow the hell up!
Anyway, my Ntinda tales are many and I thought to start with the most recent. I will be jazzing you the rest in the coming times.
Stay home. Stay safe.