You know that tree that the Bible talks about in Psalms 1:3 , That one that is planted by the rivers of water and brings forth its fruit in its season, the tree whose leaf shall not wither and prospers at all times? Maybe its your first time to read or hear about this kind of tree so imagine with me the Jeremiah 17:8 one . A tree planted by the waters , that spreads its roots by the river and will not fear when heat comes because its leaves will be green, one that will not be anxious in the year of drought nor cease from yeilding fruit. That kind of tree is the vision i carried and still carry for my child .

You see, not so long ago i was blessed with the honor of carrying a child. And for as long as she was still in my womb and all i could do then was dream and envision what and how she might turn out , life was rosy and perfect. No one ever gives truthful parenting classes, otherwise we would have so much family planning as it is today. And dont get me wrong , i am not talking about the fake talks given to parents-to be about how glossy it will be to bring life into this world , i mean the kind of lessons where you are told what to expect with no filter when you desire to birth a child, the good , the bad and the ugly. Let’s see, If you knew what you know now , would you still birth that dream? Enhe….. don’t answer that , lets get back to ,my story.

When my baby was born , her eyes lit up like the stars . Kings and queens literally desired to meet her and so many wanted to be associated with her raising. She received so many blessings and gifts ans slowly she began to grow. Her smile became so pretty it would wipe out darkness from a room. She became so graceful and started to flourish like that tree i alluded to at the beginning. She was smart, creative, elloquent , vibrant , so full of life . She was growing too fast and as her parent i was so lost in seeing her thrive, i missed out on the important details of the different stages of her growth. She began to question and i shut her down , she sought freedom and i locked her up. She desired expression and conversation but i paid no ear. She became resentful, rebellious and withdrawn. Her smile faded everyday , her life started to become dark. I made so many mistakes, many that could never be erased but today , today in sharing, my desire is to redeem my child. Help , she has gone rogue.

She can not bear the sight of me. She has been beaten, shamed and ridiculed for my misgivings. Must our children always carry the mistakes and burdens of their parents? Who started this? Must they pay for our sins? For how long must they bear our shame? It has been said that the sign of good parenting is not the child’s behaviour but the parents and so i have blinked and humbled myself. I want to learn to parent my beautiful child once again and i am willing to do the work. To earn the trust back, to build the confidence, to start from scratch and strengthen the roots , to build afresh , to birth again.

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can realise that we were planted on the foundations of good seed and we have what it takes to rebuild. This is my parenting journey at rock bottom. Reconsidering and reconnecting the broken roots , watering and prunning ajd creating space for growth on new paths yet to be fordged. Will it be easy , maybe not. Is it worth the sacrifice, this child must live! If you have birthed something / someone and in this very moment you feel like you have hit rock bottom on your parenting journey, you are not alone. You can mend those roots and start to rebuild . You can still bear fruit in season. Do not give up on the journey , do not give up on your child , do not give up on you .